It's A Pair-A-Docs

That was a GREAT post by Dr. Mills!  It is so true that the neurology of how we treat our teens is created in our teens! I raised mine the same way my parents raised me.  Dad had lots of common sense.  He thought before he spoke.  But, if Dad was mad, you knew you had screwed up!  The punishment always fit the crime.  I remember once after a late night out of partying (Hey, my big brother was 2 years older and on the football team, AND he allowed me to tag along!)  Dad got us both up at the crack of dawn and made us pick up rocks out of a field and throw them on a hay wagon, haul them out to a specific place, and then throw them off the wagon.  We worked HARD all day sweating off the beer we had the night before.  We were VERY careful to ask permission and let Dad know our whereabouts after that.  (If you’re wondering how long Dad had to think about that punishment…Grandpa had used that one on him 20 or so years before!)  My son’s never had to pick up rocks in a field, but they did get to wake up at the crack of dawn a few times!

On that note, I’m not even sure Family Service would let you work your kid till they sweat now!  But the point is, before you react in anger at your teens behavior, think about it.  Become calm.  Want more?  Listen to the show, I’ll have more Dad stories, and Sgt. Cripe will have great advice.  We’ll help get Dr. Mills ready for teens.

(And there was some GREAT parent reaction by one of my friends on Facebook who made her teen walk home 3 miles after a typical teen “thing” this week. YOU GO TAMMY!) ~Dr. Vicky

It almost seems like a contradiction, doesn’t it? Healthy teenager?

I have been fairly quiet on this topic because my kids are still little and I haven’t raised teens yet. The only experience I have is my own teen years, and those were filled with rebellion, acting out, pushing the envelope, and generally getting in trouble. (I know…. ME? Can you believe it? )  😉

But it occurred to me this morning that my perspective on those years, along with the neurology I’ve learned as an adult does give me some perspective… so here it is.

• Your teen really does need sleep and is not just lazy. Teens need nearly as much sleep as toddlers do. The hormonal changes they’re going through take a huge amount of energy and resources to push them into adulthood.
• Your teen’s brain isn’t yet wired to understand consequences fully. The neurons in the brain are coated with a substance called myelin, and myelin is not completely created yet until the early 20’s, so the messages from the “I want to do this” part of the brain don’t travel as well to the “But it may not be a good idea” part of the brain until they are older.
• Hormonally, your teen IS an adult. And this is a catch 22 because on a physical level, they’re supposed to be exploring their sexuality from as early as 13 (or the start of menses or erections). Socially, though, that’s dangerous and does not teach them much needed lessons about emotions, discipline, and taking care of their sexual health.

I remember in my mid 20’s I was having a talk with my dad about my teen years, and he let me know that he knew I used to sneak out of the house when I was 16. I said, “You did? Why didn’t you ever say anything or try to stop me?” and his response was eye opening. He replied, “I would have been worried if you weren’t trying to sneak out. At least I knew you were normal.”

I’m looking forward to the journey with my own daughters, but right now I’m really happy I have 7 or so years to worry about pre-teen and teen angst!

Listen to It’s a Pair-A-Docs! tomorrow morning at 11 am while we discuss this very topic. Call in! You can listen online at www.Newstalk1380.com.

~Dr. M

Wow, I just got off the phone with Sargeant Mark Cripe of Lancaster Sheriffs’ department.  He’s the “Subject Matter Expert on Juvenile Delinquent Intervention.”  And does he have some amazing things to say.  I fell like I just switched the “on” button and got loads of information.  This is going to be an important show wether you have teens, small children, or even an adult relationship.  Tune in on Monday May 24th at 11:00 at http://www.Newstalk1380.com . Get your questions to us pronto.  (Through this blog, facebook, or our individual e-mails.)  This show is going to fill up with lots of info FAST!) ~Dr. Vicky

Our May 24th show is going to be about “Raising Healthy, Happy, Teens.”  Well, wait a minute.  Is there such a thing?  Healthy, yes, of course, but Happy?  Tune in to learn how to Tune in! (To your teen, that is.)  From my previous posts, you can see that I’ve raised two teens.  (And not only did I survive, but so did they!)  I’ve got some good “old fashioned” advice.  Perhaps I can come up with some new fangled stuff too.  We’re hoping to have Sgt. Mark Cripe as our guest, and he’s got some great words of wisdom about dealing with teens at risk.  (Aren’t all teens at risk in today’s society)  www.newstalk1380.com 11:00 AM Pacific Standard time.  We’d love to answer your questions about your teen!

And you can listen to it here: May 17, 2010 It’s a Pair-A-Docs (Raisng Healthy Kids)

~Dr. M